An Update, After 9 Months Not Logging-in

Hey dear blog, I see there are still some traffic to this blog, despite the lack of updates. I feel bad that I didn't post anything. But I don't have the "writing muse". I'm not testing new software for the time being as well. 

photo credit: jpaxonreyes Flickr

One thing for sure, I'm busy with real life. I'm busy figuring what I really want in life in the process. I read and read and read. I also write, but on paper, because I think I'm too dependent on word processing software. Technology make our life easier, but in the same time, it make us forgot the life before the technology exist. My handwriting is bad, but when I read back my writing on the paper, I can feel more-the emotion, the passion, the frustration-all sort of feeling that come up when I write. I'm not denying the power and the benefits of the technology, because it helped other people to be able to read my writings. My hand-writing is barely readable, so word processing technology help a lot for me to type my writing so that it is being available in readable format. 

My life is probably a mess, but I'm happier at least. Less depressed, even though there are some "feeling-down" moment happen to me once in a while. I can't hurt myself much here. I have temporary reason why I still want to breath. I want to search for a permanent reason. I hope to find the reason soon. This might sound depressing, but believe me, I'm feeling much better. There has been worse moment for me. But I survived it. 

I also begin to notice more about things around me, reading more and doing more stuffs. This is my exploration on life. For other people, I'm wasting my life and time. For me, I'm just saving myself from further depression. 

Maybe I would find a way to start again, in less depressing path. Someday. Soon.